101 Funny Love Quotes for Laughs, Positive Vibes and Less Stress
Being able to laugh about love is in my experience a key to success and joy.
Because it lowers your stress. It releases inner pressure and grounds you once again in reasonable expectations.
And it simply lightens the mood – especially after a setback – and makes life a bit more fun.
So in this post I’d like to share 101 of the best funny love quotes.
To make you feel more relaxed, positive and comfortable again. A state of mind and body – compared to being tense, negative or overly serious – where I’ve found the most joy and success no matter if I have been single, dating or in a relationship.
I hope you’ll find something helpful here.
Funny Love Quotes for Positive Vibes and Less Stress
“Love is being stupid together.”
– Paul Valery
“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”
– Jules Renard
“If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.”
– Fran Lebowitz
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”
– Mae West
“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
– Erich Segal
“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
– Lily Tomlin
“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”
– George Burns
“Love is sharing your popcorn.”
– Charles M. Schulz
“Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.”
– Thomas Dewar
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.”
– Natasha Leggero
“You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.”
– Melanie Clark Pullen
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”
– Albert Einstein
“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.”
– David Sedaris
“Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
– Franklin P. Jones
“Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
– Pauline Thomason
“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
– Oscar Wilde
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
– Charles M. Schulz
Funny Love Quotes for Your Boyfriend or Husband
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”
– Will Ferrell
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Some mornings I wake up grumpy. And some mornings I just let her sleep.”
– Unknown
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.”
– Kathy Mohnke
“I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.”
– Cameron Esposito
“Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”
– Jean Illsley Clarke
“A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.”
– Henry Youngman
“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.”
– Unknown
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
– Rita Rudner
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
– Henry Youngman
“My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.”
– Ray Romano
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
– Henry Youngman
“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.”
– Tim Allen
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
– Groucho Marx
Funny Love Quotes for Her
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
– Albert Einstein
“Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh I put up with you. So we’re even.”
– Mand Lynne
“You are a smart cookie. A wise chocolate cake. A brilliant pancake.”
– Rey Woodman
“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
– Chris Rock
“Every day I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.”
– Earl E. Bird
“I love you with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.”
– Emma Nate
“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”
– Phyllis Diller
“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.”
– Cathy Carlyle
“I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
“If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.”
– Chelsea Peretti
“It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.”
– Lucille Ball
“True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.”
– Mindy Kaling
“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.”
– Les Dawson
“Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.”
– Bree Luckey
“I love you and it’s getting worse.”
– Joseph E. Morris
“The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.”
– Dolly Parton
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”
– Jerry Seinfeld
Cute and Funny Love Quotes For Him
“I promise to love you, respect you, support you, and above all else, make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry.”
– Gladys Canby
“Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.”
– H. L. Mencken
“I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.”
– Lemony Snicket
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
– Michael Scott (from the TV-show the Office)
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
– Franklin P. Jones
“I promise to always be by your side. Or under you. Or on top.”
– Joe King
“I love you even more than I am annoyed by you. Which is a lot.”
– Brighton Early
“I love you even when I’m really, really hungry.”
– Holly Wood
“I love you in a way that’s nauseating to others.”
– Dinah Mite
“Who wears the pants in our relationship? We prefer it when neither of us are wearing pants.”
– Felix Cited
“I love you more than coffee. But please don’t make me prove it.”
– Gerry Attrick
“I am yours. No refunds.”
– Anita Bath
“You don’t marry someone you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without.”
– Unknown
“I promise to always cop a feel when you’re trying to get ready in the morning.”
– Upton O. Goode
“If love means never having to say you’re sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice.”
– Estelle Getty
“I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.”
– David Bissonette
Funny I Love My Friends Quotes
“What’s Galentine’s Day? Oh, it’s only the best day of the year.”
– Leslie Knope (from the TV-show Parks and Recreations)
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’”
– C.S. Lewis
“A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.”
– Irish Proverb
“Friends are the family you choose.”
– Jess C. Scott
“True friendship is when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically.”
– Unknown
“We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.”
– Leslie Knope
“Real love is about acceptance and support in its rawest form.”
– Lady Gaga
“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”
– Garry Shandling
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”
– Chelsea Handler
“The most important thing is to be surrounded by love. Whether it’s friends, family, or a partner, love is what gives life meaning.”
– Taylor Swift
“The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.”
– Unknown
“Love is about finding your best friend and partner in crime.”
– Priyanka Chopra Jonas
“If there’s a law against friendship, lock me up.”
– Leslie Knope
“Uteruses before duderuses… Ovaries before brovaries.”
– Leslie Knope
Aesthetic and Short Funny Love Quotes
“Love means nothing in tennis, but it’s everything in life.”
– Unknown
“Love is fun but it is not going to pay the bills.”
– Jessica Martin
“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.”
– Andy Warhol
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
– Unknown
“I’d rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.”
– Nick Mercer (form the movie The Wedding Date)
“A good relationship is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.”
– Sandra Shea
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.”
– Pablo Neruda
“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”
– Paulo Coelho
“Love is the same as like, except you feel sexier.”
– Judith Viorst
“Love is just a chocolate substitute.”
– Melanie Clark Pullen
“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”
– Carroll Bryant
“The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.”
– Blaise Pascal
“As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.”
– Ralphie May
“Swoon. I’ll catch you.”
– Almásy (from the movie The English Patient)
“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”
– John Green
“That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else.”
– Jim Baker (from the movie Sixteen Candles)
“Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
– Sean Connery
“Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.”
– Kevin (from the movie 27 Dresses)
“You know you’re in love when reality is finally better than your dreams.”
– Dr. Seuss
Want more inspiration and laughs about love? Then check out the funny Valentine’s Day quotes here, these 100 short Valentine’s Day captions and this one with 101 inspirational Valentine’s day quotes. Plus, these short and romantic quotes.
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