30+ Tinder Bios That Will Crack You Up

When writing a bio on Tinder, there are many ways to catch somebody’s attention, but being funny is of the best among them. Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.” I think that line goes for most people.

While Tinder is full of unfunny and unoriginal bios left and right, there are still quite a few gems. Here’s a list of over 30 funny tinder bios that will inspire you to spruce up your own profile.

I like my men like I like my coffee, ground up and in the freezer.

I like sticking my hands in towels. And I like smelling books.

I’m looking for a guy who is really trusting and healthy! You must have both kidneys, non smoker, and not be a big drinker or take any drugs that could damage the liver…Type O negative blood a plus! ESFP

Shit, I’d date me.

I feel as out of place on tinder as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

I take hot showers because I like practicing burning in hell.

I don’t have Ebola.

My ideal date? I pick you up in my car, and there’s candles gently licking the air on the dashboard ‘Rich, there’s candles on the dashboard’, I smile. ‘Yeah, I know.’ We take a drive, go to a restaurant, have a wonderful meal and talk about life, goals, and ideals.  As we leave, you notice my car is ablaze. ‘Rich, your car is on fire!’. ‘It’s okay – it’s not mine’ – at which point I pull out marshmallows. We cook them & eat them. Then I kiss you passionately. In front of the burning car.

Let’s be honest I’m on Tinder and my first picture is of me in a bikini, I’m not looking for a relationship or a friend.

All men are pigs and I’m in the mood for bacon.

I do stuff, I also do things.

Roses are red, bacon is red. Poems are hard. Bacon.

Hello Ladies, Look at the last guy you matched, now back to me, now back to the last guy you matched, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped leaving his bio blank, and had better pictures, he could be like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on Tinder with the man of your dreams. What’s in your hand, back to me. I have it. It’s a pizza with your favourite toppings on it. Look again, the Pizza is now your favourite dog. Anything’s possible when you match me on Tinder.

I’m the kinda guy you can take home to meet your mom. She’ll think I’m super funny, and charming..and cute, but actually kind of sexy at the same time? She falls in love with me. I..think I feel the same way. We get married. I’m your dad now. I confront you, ‘young lady why are you on Tinder?’ You are now grounded.

Grandfather seeking companion for granddaughter. She suffers from poor choices.

Went to a party dressed as an egg, and got with a guy who was dressed as a chicken. A life long question was answered that night. It was the chicken…

Runner up for Time’s ‘Sexiest IT Man Alive’. Once rescued a fireman and a puppy from a burning building. And after mastering French, I became an international super spy. Right now, I’m sailing across the Pacific, stealing top-secret information, and sipping Moscow Mules…shaken, not stirred. Okay, okay. Perhaps I exaggerated *just* a tad. But I can fix your laptop, and puppies love me. Message me for more straight talk, and I’ll send you FB links, delicious cocktail recipes, and MUCH more.”

Threesome? No thanks…if I want to disappoint two people in the same room, I’d have dinner with my parents.

I accidentally (purposely) changed my name to Jeb Bush on Facebook in a 2AM burst of inspiration, not realizing you can’t change it for 60 days, so if that doesn’t tell you enough about me as a person then I don’t know what to tell you

I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.

Two reasons to date me:

1. Because you’d be the good looking one
2. Please

My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.

Professional Eugoogoolizer at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

Aye wassup, I’m Clint, I like to take girls out for a massive plate of barbecue ribs on a first date. I judge them according to how many and how aggressively they consume them. Whoever defeats me in this porcine endeavor shall become my warrior bride. My Boudicca. I’ll set nations ablaze at her feet just to watch the flames dance in her eyes. Our love will be beautiful in its violence as a tempest hits the Bering Strait, and should it die; it dies as it began with a mount of bones between us.

I hope you like alpha males because I’m your guy. That’s right, I’m the whole package. I’ll defend your honor in public, won’t take shit from waiters, and I’ll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.

I’m the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we’ll slowly phase you out.

I’m on tinder to make friends the same way I’m on Pornhub to see the plumber repair the sink.

I like long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until the LSD wears off and I realize I’m just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy’s parking lot.

Don’t swipe right, just on here to catch my lying boyfriend.

Hey honey! If you’re seeing this its over youre caught. Oh another thing that girl Brittney youre seeing sunday at 7pm in charlottesville to catch a movie. She has showed me everything. Were besties now bye loser!

I’m look for a girl who is super mean. She also has to be really clingy and jealous. I prefer women who talk a lot about their ex and a love for da bootyliciousness. In my free time I like to take off my shirt and take selfies. I’m super in shape thanks to my strict diet of Mountain Dew and twizzlers. We’re a twizzler family, red vines have no place in my home. I work nights fighting crime. I’m not saying I’m Batman, but I am saying no one has seen the Riddler in Austin Texas.

Carolina V 2.0 Tinder Edition Updates
-minor bug fixes
-improved selection algorithm
-new pictures (bikini pic added)
-performance enhancements: summer tan
-multilingual support

Actually several thousand years old idk why it says 21 lol
Downside: I’ve only been nailed once
Upside: I would die for you, so you know I’m committed…
Also my dad is a pretty big deal. He always beats me in dreidel
Swipe right if you need some Jesus in you.

I’m on here because I’m trying to date your dad.