Self Development

91 Funny Birthday Quotes for Friends with Hilarious Humor That Will Make You Laugh

If you want to make an upcoming birthday a fun and lighthearted celebration then today’s post will help you out.

In it I want to share 91 of the wittiest and most funny birthday quotes about youth, aging and life.

Use one or a couple of them in a card, in a text or a social media post on for example Instagram.

Or simply use one of them in your birthday speech to your friend, sister, brother, coworker or whoever you are celebrating to make them laugh and make their special day even more fun.

Funny Birthday Quotes for Friends (and Your Best Friend)

“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash

“I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!”
– Unknown

“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan

“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years experience.”
– Unknown

“Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers

“Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.”
– Jennifer Yane

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote

“The older you get, the better you get. Unless you are a banana.”
– Betty White

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball

“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny

“Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.”
– Unknown

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck

“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes

“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller

“I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.”
– Eva Gabor

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers

“The first hundred years are the hardest.”
– Wilson Mizner

“When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.”
– Joan Rivers

“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash.”
– Sophie Tucker

Short and Funny Birthday Quotes on Getting Older

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
– Bob Hope

See also  Get Your Whole Life Sorted

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain

“You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer

“Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.”
– Fred Astaire

“Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.”
– Joey Adams

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost

“I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.”
– Francis Bacon

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer

“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.”
– George Burns

“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn

“You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived in a history book.”
– Will Ferrell

“Age is a number and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown

“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”
– Chili Davis

“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.”
– Bob Hope

“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
– Norman Wisdom

“You know you’re getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner

“You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier

“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.”
– George Burns

“We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Funny Birthday Quotes for Women on Aging Gracefully

“Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”
– Mary Schmich

“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani

“I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.”
– Stephen Fry

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
– Phyllis Diller

“I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner

“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers

“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”
– Graham Norton

“People say, ‘How you stay looking so young?’ I say, well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup.”
– Dolly Parton

See also  How to Stay Positive at Work: 22 Helpful Tips

“My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I’ve got so many wrinkles; I should be sponsored by a prune company!”
– Unknown

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”
– Mark Twain

“Listen. I wish I could tell you it gets better. But, it doesn’t get better. You get better.”
– Joan Rivers

“Aging gracefully means being flexible, being open, allowing change, enjoying change, and loving yourself.”
– Wendy Whelan

Funny Birthday Quotes for Men on the Inevitable Changes in Life

“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper

“A man has reached middle age when he’s warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.”
– Henry Youngman

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
– George Burns

“Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.”
– E. Joseph Cossman

“You’re only as old as the woman you feel.”
– Groucho Marx

“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.”
– Larry David

“In middle age, the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes

“Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.”
– Harold Coffin

“I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age, I’m very pleased to be anywhere.”
– George Burns

“Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by 9 o’clock.”
– Ronald Reagan

“I mean, I’m not a kid anymore. I could go tomorrow. And I hope I go tomorrow. I haven’t gone today yet.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“Life’s a short trip. You’ll find out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“I’ve been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don’t need to know anymore.”
– Larry David

“Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.”
– Ogden Nash

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”
– Mark Twain

“Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s smart, funny, and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.”
– Good/Smart Child

“Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.”
– George Burns

“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin

See also  160 Quotes of the Day for Daily Inspiration, Motivation and Lots of Positive Energy

Funny Birthday Quotes for Coworkers

“Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on, and everybody rushes to get a piece?”
– Bobby Kelton

“Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.”
– Chris Hardwick

“Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”
– Dave Barry

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

“The goal of life is to take everything that made you weird as a kid and get people to pay you money for it when you’re older.”
– David Freeman

“You know you’re getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them.”
– Harrison Ford

“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”
– Will Rogers

“At my age, flowers scare me.”
– George Burns

“Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It’s expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.”
– Amy Poehler

“The aging process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.”
– John Mortimer

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.”
– George Carlin

“Old age comes at a bad time.”
– San Banducci

“Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.”
– John Wagner

“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings, and you hope it isn’t for you.”
– George Burns

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake

“I have too many wrinkles to have this little money!”
– Cathy Guisewite

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.”
– George Burns

“It’s true, some wine improves with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.”
– Abigail Van Buren

Want more inspiration for celebrations coming up soon? Then check out these inspirational birthday quotes, the short birthday quotes in this post and the inspirational wedding quotes here. Plus, this one with short wedding quotes.

Source link

Related Articles

126 Comments

  1. Nice post. I used to be checking constantly this blog and
    I’m impressed! Very useful information specially the ultimate phase :
    ) I care for such information much. I was looking for this certain info for a long time.
    Thank you and best of luck.

  2. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this excellent blog!
    I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
    I look forward to fresh updates and will share this site with my Facebook group.
    Chat soon!

  3. Nice weblog right here! Also your web site so much up very fast!
    What web host are you the usage of? Can I get your associate hyperlink
    on your host? I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  4. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you,
    However I am going through troubles with your RSS.
    I don’t know why I can’t subscribe to it.
    Is there anyone else having similar RSS issues? Anybody who knows
    the answer can you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  5. whoah this blog is excellent i love studying your articles.
    Keep up the great work! You realize, lots of people are searching around
    for this information, you can aid them greatly.

  6. Hey I am so delighted I found your weblog, I really found you by error, while I was looking on Aol for something else, Nonetheless I am here now
    and would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous
    post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have
    time to look over it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I
    have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please
    do keep up the fantastic work.

  7. Heya i’m for the primary time here. I came across this board and I to find
    It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give
    something back and help others such as you helped me.

  8. This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
    I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more
    of your fantastic post. Also, I’ve shared your site in my
    social networks!

  9. Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles?
    I mean, what you say is fundamental and all.
    But think of if you added some great images or videos to give your
    posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with images
    and clips, this blog could certainly be one of the best in its field.
    Very good blog!

    Also visit my web blog … Packaging Machinery

  10. Hey there! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site
    with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and
    will be tweeting this to my followers! Superb blog and amazing style and design.

  11. Thanks for any other informative web site. Where else could I am getting that type of information written in such a perfect approach?

    I’ve a challenge that I’m simply now running on, and
    I’ve been on the glance out for such info.

  12. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
    The words in your article seem to be running off the screen in Ie.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let
    you know. The style and design look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved
    soon. Cheers

  13. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it
    seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw
    away your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

  14. You actually make it appear really easy together with your presentation however
    I in finding this topic to be really one thing
    which I feel I’d never understand. It seems too
    complicated and extremely extensive for me.
    I’m having a look forward on your next publish, I will attempt to get the hang of it!

  15. Do you have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I
    was wanting to know your situation; many of us have created some nice procedures and we are
    looking to exchange techniques with others, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  16. Howdy, I do believe your web site could be having internet browser compatibility problems.

    Whenever I look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine
    however, when opening in Internet Explorer, it’s got some overlapping issues.
    I merely wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other than that, fantastic website!

  17. Greetings, I think your blog may be having internet browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping issues.

    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, fantastic blog!

  18. Greetings, I believe your web site may be having browser compatibility issues.
    Whenever I take a look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however,
    if opening in IE, it’s got some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to provide you with
    a quick heads up! Apart from that, excellent website!

  19. Wonderful blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Thanks

  20. Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one
    and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam responses?
    If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can recommend?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated.

  21. Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.

    Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for
    a while but I never seem to get there! Thank you

  22. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is
    time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest
    you some interesting things or tips. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article.

    I want to read even more things about it!

  23. An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who has
    been doing a little homework on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast
    due to the fact that I found it for him… lol.

    So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending some time to discuss this topic
    here on your site.

  24. I do accept as true with all of the ideas you have offered in your
    post. They’re really convincing and will definitely work.

    Still, the posts are too short for novices. May you please prolong them a
    little from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.

  25. Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually recognize what you are talking about!
    Bookmarked. Kindly also seek advice from my site =).
    We will have a hyperlink exchange arrangement between us

  26. Hey there superb blog! Does running a blog similar to this require
    a great deal of work? I’ve no understanding of programming but I had been hoping
    to start my own blog in the near future. Anyways, if you have any
    ideas or tips for new blog owners please share.

    I know this is off subject but I just wanted to
    ask. Thanks!

  27. Excellent beat ! I would like to apprentice at the same time as you amend your web
    site, how could i subscribe for a weblog site? The account helped me
    a applicable deal. I were a little bit familiar of this your broadcast offered bright transparent concept

  28. Just desire to say your article is as amazing. The clearness in your submit is just cool and
    that i could assume you’re an expert on this subject. Fine along with your permission let me to clutch your RSS feed to stay
    up to date with drawing close post. Thanks a
    million and please keep up the rewarding
    work.

  29. whoah this weblog is magnificent i love reading your articles.
    Keep up the good work! You know, many persons are hunting around for this info,
    you can aid them greatly.

  30. When I originally commented I appear to have clicked
    on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from
    now on each time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the exact same comment.
    Is there an easy method you are able to remove me from that
    service? Thanks a lot!

  31. We are a bunch of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our
    community. Your website provided us with helpful information to work on. You have
    performed an impressive job and our whole community will probably be thankful to you.

  32. I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?

    Plz respond as I’m looking to design my own blog and would like to find out where u got this
    from. appreciate it

  33. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be precisely what I’m
    looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content for yourself?
    I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write concerning here.
    Again, awesome site!

  34. Thanks for some other fantastic post. Where else could anyone
    get that kind of information in such an ideal approach of
    writing? I have a presentation subsequent week, and I’m
    on the look for such information.

  35. We stumbled over here coming from a different page
    and thought I might as well check things out.
    I like what I see so now i am following you.
    Look forward to exploring your web page for a second time.

  36. Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea
    shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed
    the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  37. Excellent weblog right here! Additionally your site loads up fast!
    What web host are you the usage of? Can I am getting your associate hyperlink for
    your host? I desire my site loaded up as quickly as
    yours lol

  38. Hello, i believe that i noticed you visited my blog so i came to go back the want?.I am
    attempting to to find issues to enhance my web site!I assume its good enough to make use of some of
    your concepts!!

  39. After looking over a few of the articles on your blog,
    I honestly appreciate your way of writing a blog. I added it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back in the near
    future. Take a look at my web site too and let me know your opinion.

  40. Great beat ! I would like to apprentice even as you amend your
    site, how can i subscribe for a blog site?
    The account aided me a applicable deal. I were tiny bit
    familiar of this your broadcast provided vivid clear idea

  41. Good day I am so grateful I found your blog
    page, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Digg for
    something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a marvelous post and a
    all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design),
    I don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have saved it
    and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the
    superb work.

  42. children porn,children porn watch
    children porn,children porn watch
    children porn,children porn watch
    children porn,children porn watch
    children porn,children porn watch
    children porn,children porn watch
    children porn,children porn watch

  43. Hello, Neat post. There’s a problem along with your website in internet explorer, might check this?
    IE still is the marketplace leader and a big component of
    other folks will miss your fantastic writing because of
    this problem.

  44. Attractive section of content. I simply stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that
    I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing on your augment and even I achievement you access constantly fast.

  45. Hi my friend! I want to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include approximately all significant infos.
    I’d like to see extra posts like this .

  46. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement
    account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you!
    However, how could we communicate?

  47. I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be precisely
    what I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content to suit
    your needs? I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write about here.

    Again, awesome weblog!

  48. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this blog.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very difficult to get
    that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appeal.
    I must say that you’ve done a great job with this.
    Additionally, the blog loads super fast for me on Opera. Superb Blog!

  49. I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your
    blog. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much
    more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create
    your theme? Excellent work!

  50. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox
    and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Cheers!

  51. Hello, Neat post. There is an issue together with your website in internet explorer, might test
    this? IE still is the market chief and a huge component
    to people will leave out your excellent writing because of this problem.

  52. Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask.

    Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa?
    My website goes over a lot of the same subjects as yours
    and I feel we could greatly benefit from
    each other. If you might be interested feel free to shoot me an email.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Terrific
    blog by the way! http://Blockrealestateservices.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=Balikesir.ogo.org.tr%2Fquestion%2Fmedium-de-confiance-trouver-un-guide-spirituel-authentique%2F

  53. I must thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this
    site. I really hope to view the same high-grade
    blog posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your
    creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own, personal blog now 😉

  54. Great blog here! Also your website loads up fast!
    What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  55. Cool blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from
    somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple adjustements
    would really make my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your theme.
    Thank you

  56. It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.
    I have read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you few attention-grabbing things or suggestions.
    Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article.
    I wish to read even more things about it!

  57. Hey there would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using?
    I’m going to start my own blog soon but I’m having a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your design and
    style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something
    unique. P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button