Ten Things You Should Never Say on a First Date

Sure, you’ve probably already read 295 lists of things not to talk about on a first date. Still, the more these conversational faux pas get hammered into your brain, the less likely you are to make them.

So re-read these and promise yourself to zip it next time one comes to mind — then leave a comment to let you know your least favorite thing we guys tend to talk about.

10. “Normally, I don’t date guys like you.” 

Guys are insecure too, and we start spinning our wheels wondering what you meant. Do you usually date handsome men? Employed men? Professional-athlete men? Translated: “Yeah, you’re my last gasp before lesbianism.”

9. “I don’t care.”

Indecisiveness is about as sexy as Larry the Cable Guy. You’ve got an opinion, so share it! We wouldn’t ask, “Where would you like to eat?” or “What movie do you want to check out?” if we weren’t interested in finding out the answer so we could please you.

8. “You remind me of my ex.”

Well, hey, thanks for saving us the trouble of picking up the check. Now we know how this is gonna turn out.

7. “I hate kids.”

We might agree with you, but this reeks of you trying to assure us that you’re not thinking about marriage. And that reminds us that you were thinking of marriage before you decided to defend it. Watch as we scurry for the Weed-B-Gone.

6.”Ugh! I hate my job!!”

Even if your voice flawlessly echoes the timbre and tone of Alicia Keys, whining instantly shuts down our eardrums while we wait for it to be over. It’s not that you don’t have the right to bitch, but wouldn’t you rather we got to know you positively first?

5. “So, when are we going out again?”

Why rush date number two? Wouldn’t you rather just enjoy date number one and see if we click without the pressure of a follow-up engagement? Well, regardless, we sure would.

4. “The service here is horrible.” 

Again with the complaining! And, it doesn’t help that you’re more concerned with the incompetent wait staff than you are with us.

3. “Sorry I’m late!”

How would you feel if we showed up 20 minutes tardy without a good excuse? If you’ve got a solid reason, no harm, no foul. But, if your lateness was caused by flakiness and lack of consideration, we’ll be looking to get out early.

2. “Hello?”

Answering your cell phone on a date? Plain rude. Pulling it out of your pocket non-chalantly, but making sure we see you turn it off? Aww, now we feel special.

1. “Another Shot?! Whoooo!”

Unless your date has already nosedived into “can’t wait to blog about this loser and his Ninja Turtles Velcro wallet when I get home” territory, try to avoid getting completely obliterated on a first date.