Why Do Men Leave The Woman They Love?

All you need is love, love is all you need, sang The Beatles. But is love really all that two people need to stay together forever? Is it that people who are madly, passionately, and soul-crushingly in love with each other never separate? Then why do men leave the woman they love?

One day you see your friend’s social media updates, flaunting eternal love with overflowing PDA pictures and quotes, and then suddenly, all of that is replaced with scorned inspirational quotes. So, what changed suddenly? Most of the time, the woman herself has no idea of what’s going on. Regardless of how arbitrary it may seem, when a man leaves a good woman, it is never without a reason.

Even so, the woman who has been left behind may feel that things came to an abrupt end, and often, may not even know what rocked the boat of her romantic bliss. One of my friends went through something similar. When I reached out to her, all she could manage to say between her sobs was: “Why? Why? Why?”

This ‘why’ makes me brood over questions that have been haunting women for ages: why do men leave the women they love? Why do guys leave suddenly? Perhaps, there is no one-size-fits-all answer at all. Even so, let’s try to understand the psyche of men who leave seemingly happy and functional relationships.

When Do Men Leave Without Any Explanation?

Relationships are getting more complicated by the day. One pattern emerging from the increasingly complex maze of romantic connections is that often guys just leave their partners without any explanation. How can you solve a problem without knowing what the problem is? The key to any successful relationship is communication. When couples fail to improve communication in the relationship, it can cause them to drift apart.

When that happens and a man pulls the plug on the relationship, a majority of women are completely clueless about the reason behind their abandonment. The question, why do guys leave suddenly?, continues to haunt them. But, the end of a relationship is hardly ever sudden or baseless. There has to be some reason or the other behind your man leaving without any explanation. Some of these can be:

• An ever-growing resentment caused by unmet needs
• Hurt self-esteem or ego
• Feeling of being stuck in a rut
• Love that is fading away
• Finding someone else

What does a woman think when her man leaves her?

Love is hard to find, and one would want to keep it safe and secure when one finds it, right? Wouldn’t a man who loves a woman go to any extent to be with her? “Yes, and yes, but then why did he leave me?”, you might ask. Men who leave may have their own reasons to pull the plug on a relationship and yet they don’t make it any easier on their partners by walking away without any explanation or calling it quits without any forewarning.

When a man leaves a good woman suddenly, it can leave her shocked, perplexed, unnerved, and heartbroken to say the least. And, this is especially if he seemed to be so much in love with her. But once the series of whys start, they wreak havoc with one’s peace of mind.

An expected end to a relationship in itself can be a huge blow but an end without an explanation is downright soul-crushing. By walking away suddenly, men can take away from their former partners the ability to find closure and move on. But before we get into what causes a man to leave a woman, let’s take a closer look at some of the most common things that run through a woman’s mind after a relationship comes to an abrupt end:

1. If he really loved me, how could he leave? This question gives her sleepless nights. She begins to question the genuineness of her relationship and the concept of love and commitment. She feels as though she may never trust anybody again
2. Was it so easy to walk away from the relationship? When there is no justification provided, the woman tortures herself by overthinking, “How can men who leave do so without sparing a thought to how it’d affect the person they’re leaving behind?” The fact that her partner could walk away so easily while her world has come to a standstill, makes her even more miserable
3. How could he walk away from a good woman? A righteous woman, who is dedicated to her relationship, definitely does not deserve to be dumped without any clarifications. When a man leaves a good woman, she would probably torment herself for years, trying to get a suitable answer to this question
4. Why did he walk away suddenly? In such cases, the woman starts to introspect over all the events that could have led to this unexpected departure of her partner. Her frustration level increases with every passing day, as she fails to pinpoint the exact cause that would have led to his sudden exit from her life

Related Reading: Why Do Men Come Back Months Later – When You Have Moved On

Top 8 Reasons Why Men Leave The Women They Love

Men leave the woman they are with, irrespective of whether their partners still love them or not, for a whole host of reasons, ranging from “My wife refuses to make tea for me” to “I am in love with my boss’s wife”. Men who leave relationships without any forewarning or in the absence of any critical issues or any potential relationship red flags also leave behind a string of unanswered questions.

Can a man forget a woman he loves? Why do guys leave the girl they love? Did he even love her to begin with if he could leave so easily? Addressing these questions relating to why guys leave suddenly may help you understand the underlying reasons behind their actions:

1. Lack of appreciation

Perhaps the most common reason why a man leaves the woman he loves is that he doesn’t feel appreciated in the relationship. A little appreciation, gratefulness, and acknowledgment go a long way in strengthening a couple’s bond whereas a lack of empathy in a relationship spells doom.

According to a Gratitude Survey conducted for the John Templeton Foundation, only 59% of women show their appreciation toward the man they love. Not showing gratitude or not acknowledging his gestures can make the relationship mundane. It is an indifferent attitude that can make a man drift away. He would then start looking for people who would appreciate even the smallest of his gestures.

Sometimes, the woman may get so engrossed in the mundane routine that she completely disregards the efforts her man is making to keep the relationship alive. This is when, unknowingly, the woman starts driving her man away. When a man leaves a good woman, it could be because he doesn’t feel valued and appreciated in the relationship.

Related Reading: 10 Ways To Shower Appreciation On Your Husband

2. Under pressure and feeling inadequate

Men start feeling inadequate when their partners constantly make comparisons with others and complain about how difficult their own life is. Often, women feel they are just pouring their hearts out in front of the men they love; they don’t need any solutions to their problems. Men, on the other hand, feel pressured to find quick solutions to all the issues their women have.

When he fails to find these solutions, he feels inadequate and pressured. A pervading sense of inadequacy and incompetence could be overriding his love for you. The pressure of satisfying the needs of his partner financially, emotionally, or physically, is what causes a man to leave a woman. When a man lets you go easily, it could be because of his underlying sense of inferiority or low self-esteem in the relationship.

3. Compatibility issues

Irrespective of how the relationship started, if at any point there are signs of incompatibility in the relationship, men will be less vocal about it. Sometimes his partner might be totally unaware of how this incompatibility is affecting him. This can cause both partners to drift apart, making them more and more out of sync.

Eventually, when there is nothing common left between the couple to discuss or share, the woman might still continue to ignore the situation. But the man would prefer to exit this dead relationship without any clarifications. If you’ve ever wondered why do guys leave the girl they love, this could be a probable reason.

4. Lack of intimacy

Contrary to common perception, lack of sex is not the primary reason why men leave; it is the lack of intimacy. Physical and emotional intimacy is the fuel of any relationship. It can make couples overcome the toughest of barriers. Having said that, the importance of sex in a relationship can never be undermined.

When two partners have different sex drives, one is bound to be left unsatisfied. This imbalance develops a crack in the relationship, which could be rectified by emotional intimacy to a large extent. However, a couple’s bond can be easily broken if there is no intimacy in any form. Not feeling connected to his partner is what causes a man to leave a woman.

Studies point out that the hormone oxytocin released after sexual activity plays a significant role in helping a couple bond. The lack of physical intimacy may affect the emotional bond he shares with his partner, which might make a man pull a disappearing act.

Related Reading: Reasons Why Men Have Extramarital Affairs

5. No respect in the relationship

Why do guys leave the girl they love? The answer to this question can be found by understanding the element of respect in a relationship. While love is definitely what brings two people together, it is on the foundation of trust and mutual respect that a relationship is built. Even the strongest of emotional ties can snap if a partner doesn’t feel trusted or respected. Regardless of how much a man loves his woman, there is a limit to which he would be ready to give in.

Samantha and Rob have been in a relationship for 5 years now. After a whirlwind of a romance during their college days, they mutually decided to get married right after their graduation. While Samantha landed up bagging a decent job, Rob had a tough time. Even though they initially tried to sail their love boat smoothly with limited finances, it did take a toll eventually.

At some point, Rob started to feel his opinions were not being respected. What began in light-hearted jest, soon turned into a clash of egos with respect and admiration at stake. Snide remarks, taunts, and an increasing lack of respect in their relationship widened the chasm between them.

Can a man stay away from a woman he loves? Yes, he can. When he finds his individuality and identity in danger, he can. That is when he wouldn’t mind taking the drastic step of walking away even when he loves his partner. Most men prefer a woman who respects them more than she loves them. Often, men leave good women because they cannot compromise on their self-respect.

6. Infidelity in a relationship

A cheating partner is detrimental to any relationship. Infidelity either by the woman or the man can lead to abandonment. If the woman cheats, he may find it impossible to prolong the relationship due to trust issues. In case the man has cheated and the partner forgives him, then continuing to live together could still be difficult.

A study conducted by the Institute for Family Studies highlights infidelity as a recurring cause of the failure of relationships. Infidelity is a breach of trust. Irrespective of which partner is guilty of it, it becomes hard for a relationship to withstand the turbulence of emotions and heartache when faced with the perils of cheating.

A man would try to resist a woman he loves when he finds their relationship threatened by infidelity. Perhaps because he can’t get past the fact that the woman he loved and trusted with all his heart cheated on him or because he finds it hard to put up with constant taunting or the overwhelming feeling of guilt. Either way, the relationship won’t ever be the same again. Eventually, when a man can’t handle it anymore, he will decide to leave. Men who leave relationships seemingly suddenly have either had their trust broken or have been unable to shake off the cheating guilt.

7. Restrictive and authoritative relationship

A man might have certain other commitments that may take priority in his life and if his partner fails to understand his priorities, he may have no option other than leaving her, even if it hurts. These commitments could be caring for an ailing parent, career aspirations, social causes, or children from past relationships.

What matters to a person is their freedom to choose a life they want, the choice to prioritize the things that matter to them. When this choice feels threatened by a partner, it can lead to a strenuous relationship. Restricting and authoritative ways never go well in any relationship.

Going back to the case of Samantha and Rob, when Samantha’s financial independence imposed limitations on Rob, hindering him from shouldering the medical expenses of his parents, he felt trapped in his relationship. Her authoritarian ways had to be called out. If a man is given an ultimatum to choose between his duty or calling and his woman, a righteous man will choose the former because that ultimatum itself proves that his partner does not love him enough.

If you are still wondering, “Why do guys leave suddenly? It is unbelievable to have no reason behind such a sudden exit,” then you’re right, there has to be a reason. And, one possible reason could be that he feels that his partner is trying to clip his wings or is constricting and preventing him from being who he wants to be.

Related Reading: 9 Examples Of Mutual Respect In A Relationship

8. He is a narcissist

This famous quote by Rihanna, “Never underestimate a man’s ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes” is apt for all those men who abandon their women without any reason, warning, and explanation. Yes, these types of men do exist. They are so self-centered that at any given opportunity, they will pick what is best for them, even if it means hurting someone else’s feelings.

Your partner could be too full of himself to even notice your emotions. No doubt, he loves you, yet he decides to leave you. And the emotional detachment feels abrupt and inexplicable. When you live with a narcissistic husband/boyfriend, the relationship feels like a one-man show. It is solely for him, of him, and by him.

Narcissistic people have an exaggerated sense of self-importance; hence they feel they have all the right to abandon anyone at any time. In this case, the woman should only be glad that he is gone. A relationship with a narcissistic man can be emotionally draining. One cannot pour out of an empty cup. The truth is, sometimes in love too, two people find it difficult to be together.

You can ruminate over your relationship issues and try to mend fences with the same partner or use the lesson learned to rebuild another relationship. There could be many reasons why a man leaves a good woman whom he loves. But if he does, make sure you do not let this experience meddle with your sanity or happiness.

A wise decision would be to openly communicate with your partner and iron out the creases. Attempt to sew in the loose ends of your relationship if you both want to give it another chance. Else, you can always move on in life toward the better things that await you. The bottom line is to respect each other’s decisions and find your own happiness.

This article has been updated in November 2022.

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